Joy into the World

I have spent some time today thinking about what I should share in this post. Perhaps a summary of the few days since my last post, or of the weekend just gone or just how things have been since the visit to the hospital last week. Whatever I do though is going to have to reflect a number of ups but also a few downs.

On the positive side, some of my plans for the weekend worked out well. We took a long walk out into the countryside in the sunshine on Saturday. It was freezing cold but the blue skies and exercise made a lot of difference and there was some positivity in the air. Sunday was a family day out. Three generations got together to visit someone's new house and then down to a pub by the river for a roast dinner. A very civilised and fun way to spend a lazy day and both were great ways to bring some joy into our world.

Sadly, there was a downside.

Whilst the majority of the walk was great, emotions appeared part way through and suddenly the fun was gone. And last night, after a relaxing dinner and pleasant chat about what we had got up to, the emotions reappeared and I was unable to say or do anything without it being challenged or misunderstood. Tears and criticism of me were both generously shared.

This is not uncommon. I understand that when people are upset and scared and feel threatened they often hit out. And it's frequently at the expense of the person closest to them. But it is never easy to take.

I did try to explain, rationally, that whilst I appreciated how difficult it was for her it was also tough for me. When the situations calmed down I genuinely believe that this was taken on board.

It has only been 6 days since the last operation so it is still early. There is still some pain and plenty of stitches causing irritation and one unpleasant instance of a nightmare clearly influenced by her illness. But it could have been far worse.

So a mixed few days, but I will end on the positives. Sunshine, laughing relatives and a pub lunch were all good and encouraged plenty of smiles.