The Banishment of Self Pity

There are moments in life that come along every so often that stick in your mind and cause you to stop, catch your breath and think carefully about what has just happened. These moments can, if handled correctly and thoughtfully, leave an impression that can hang around for a long time. Sometimes they are major, life changing events but in my experience, often they are not. Just a word or a gesture or something that makes you think differently can frequently leave the longest impression.

So if I follow up that rather dramatic opening by sharing the words “Andrew Marr” with you it will completely throw anyone still with me after the opening paragraph. But Andrew Marr is very much the person responsible for a recent moment in my life.

I think I should explain.

We watched a documentary about him on the BBC recently. For anyone unaware, Andrew is a political presenter and correspondent and a reasonably well known figure in the UK. But quite old school, mainstream and, well, a little uninspiring if I am being honest. So it was with great surprise that we very quickly got immersed by this documentary about his health issues over the last year or two.

The story covered his stroke. It explained what had happened, how it was probably not that unexpected to those closest to him, and what he did, and continues to do, to improve his health and travel his road to recovery. But the most significant part of the story was that we actually got to see what he was really like behind his public persona and it was this, his personality and drive, which was the most remarkable thing.

He was the epitome of “living for the moment”. His drive was incredible. He wrote newspaper articles and books, presented on both television and radio, travelled, drew and painted, had time for his family, was an exercise freak and probably cooked, cut the grass and washed the car every Sunday as well. His life was full to overflowing and it was clear that he loved everything that he did and was always looking to do more.

It was also made clear that this drive had contributed significantly to his health issues. But the main message that both of us got was that he lived his life to the full and relished everything that he did. At one point he stated to the camera that he had no time for self pity and that this was the ultimate waste of time in his view. We both picked up on that point.

He was, simply put, an inspiration and a completely unexpected one at that. And he was happy living his life in his own way and doing his best to fill it with meaning.

I guess an indication of what kind of impact something has had on an individual is what they do with the new information and the changes they make as a result. I found myself doing things differently the very next day. I actually found more of a spring in my step and a more positive way of dealing with those everyday obstacles that come along. I picked up tasks quickly and the normal procrastination was gone. I even felt happier.

It's not quite the aspirational banishment of self pity that it could have been but it's a pretty good way to react to a television documentary however you want to look at it.

Photo from BBC News website