But.....

I find it fascinating how sometimes our minds deliberately overlook the obvious and positive in order to hold onto the negatives of fear and the unknown. It does us no good, it makes no sense but I think that most of us do this more often than we care to admit.

It has not been an easy few weeks. Regular check-ups on Cancer No.1 and Cancer No.2 (I need to find better names) were completed. The first was a three month check on C2 and was fine. All good news. The lead up to the visit was not without its stressful and anxious moments but this is put into perspective a little when you get positive results. The second was a six month check on C1 and was far more involved. The week or two before the scan and the subsequent week waiting for the results were also challenging, but again, this was understandable.

And the news was also good.

However this is where I include a......but.....into the narrative.

But.....at the second check a number of other things were noticed. Not necessarily serious. Not necessarily anything to worry about. Probably completely unconnected to C1. The consultant arranged for urgent biopsies as you would hope and they were completed within minutes. A little awkward and unpleasant but it was exactly what anyone would have wanted in terms of response and care.

So what was the general mood after weeks of worry and two very positive results?

Lets just say that the good news sadly seems to have been completely overwhelmed by the fear of what the additional tests may say.

Whilst it is completely irrational it's also no great surprise. It seems to take a disproportionate and often impossible amount of effort to concentrate on the present and feel positive about what is known when all our minds really want to do is to search for and find the next thing to worry about.

I may have mentioned mindfulness and meditation before. I think they deserve closer consideration in order to find a way of finding the happiness in what should be a happy time after two very positive results.