Give Yourself Permission

Do more of what you like to do.

It sounds simple doesn't it? But often we get so caught up in living our lives and doing what we have to do that we forget what it is that we actually enjoy doing.

I am lucky. I have a long list of interests and could easily fill my day with things that I enjoy. If I didn't have to work for a living then I would do it all. Prioritising items on my list and fitting them into the time I have available however is a little more challenging.

What is even harder though is asking yourself the question and finding that you are unable to list anything. We had this conversation a while back and I think it came as a big surprise to find that after much consideration there was nothing that my wife was able to put on her list.

Actually, that's not completely true. She was able to say that she liked being at home and she enjoyed being with her family and friends. But there were no interests or dreams or passions that she had beyond this. So whilst what she shared was fine, it was not a great start when it came to working out a plan of action.

But it did give her time to think. If she enjoyed doing those things, then she was able to make a decision to do more of them, however mundane they may have appeared. And it encouraged her to think of things that she may have had to put aside in the past when her priority was putting the family and others first.

She has embraced this and has taken small steps towards doing more of what she enjoys. There are more social events appearing in her diary now which is a good thing. Her circle of friends has increased which is also a positive. And she is happier with me doing things for myself rather than tagging along even when she knew she had no interest. All good news.

Despite the sometimes crippling self-doubt and lack of confidence these are massive improvements in terms of her enjoying life and finding happiness. And not just for my wife. I am happier that she is doing more and enjoying what she does. And she has finally given herself permission not to go to anymore boring gigs or sporting events with me and is actively filling the time doing other things.

Who knows, she may even decide to follow up on her recent comment expressing an interest in apiarism (photo attached for those without a knowledge of obscure words).